This is what really happened :
by Buzz Maverik
NEW YORK—Sources on the set of Martin Scorsese's upcoming Gangs of New York report that upon showing up to the set late and hung over after a night out with various supermodels, Leonardo DiCaprio was heavily scolded by the high-strung helmer non-stop for 10 minutes last week in front of the film's entire crew. Courtesy of the quick-thinking sound crew, who sprang into action and recorded the entire rant, Bizcotti brings to its valued readership an exclusive smidgen of the transcript:
Marty: "All right, Mr. Partyboy, Mr. King of the World, Mr. I Don't Give a Shit About Anybody Else... Don't roll your eyes at me. Do you think Robert De Niro keeps everybody waiting? Except for all that extra time he had to spend on the toilet when he got fat for Raging Bull, he's always on time. Well, you're not fat for this picture, are you, Junior? Maybe you're a little flabby from all that soft living. Hell, you probably tell the models it all turns to c--- after midnight, don't you?"
Leo: "Yeah, but…"
Marty: "You make me sick! You make everybody sick! You make me violently ill! Do you think Willem Dafoe enjoyed spending 12 days nailed to a cross for Last Temptation? You don't think he would have rather been out doing cocaine and ecstasy and NyQuil and f---ing models? Of course he would have! But he was on the set every day when it was time to drive the nails in, Bucko! Hell, Illeana Douglas showed up early to have her face bitten off in Cape Fear, but you can't even show up on time for your kissing scenes with Cameron Diaz, you little pussy. What's the matter, don't you like girls?"
Leo: "I do like girls, but..."
Marty: "Who the hell doesn't want to kiss Cameron Diaz? Chris Isaak wanted to kiss her so bad she nearly choked on his tongue at those stupid MTV awards. But you, you little bitch, you come dragging in late, all hung over, stinking of Galoises and pot, not knowing your lines... Shit, I could have hired Stephen Dorff for a thousandth of your price if I wanted a big pain in the ass! Did you do, this to James Cameron? Hell no! If you had, he'd have thrown you off the boat. Did you do this to Danny Boyle?"
Leo: "No, but..."
Marty: "Too f---ing bad if you did, because I'm not Scottish and I've done a helluva lot more than just a movie about Scottish junkies. You know what I'm going to do to you, you little turd? Forget the kissing scene! Forget Cameron Diaz. We're going to the wharf set to film your bare-knuckle boxing scene. You versus Oscar De La Hoya as an Italian fighter. I'm giving your stunt double the afternoon off, so you're going to film the scene yourself, you little piece of..."
After the acclaimed director managed to calm himself with various prescription sedatives, he made the high-priced actor apologize to the entire cast and crew.
Thanks to Gabi !